I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
