sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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