3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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