So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
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