I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize