Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
