This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
