I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
