Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
