do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
