Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
