I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
