You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
