Barsexuality is the new black.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
