I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
