Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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