I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
