Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
