don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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