Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
