Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
