I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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