Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
