My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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