I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
