Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
