Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
