When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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