his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
