Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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