Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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