You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
