Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
