You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
