This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
