Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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