I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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