Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
