So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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