I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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