Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
