She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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