Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
