yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
