party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
