That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Holy sore nipples Batman
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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