My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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