for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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