I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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