he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
