Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
